Category Archives: Pendejadas

Memories of a Lost Boulevard, Whittier Blvd on Film

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Many of us like to reminisce about the time when Whittier Boulevard was “Thee Boulevard”. Those of us who grew up near it will have a story or two to tell about this iconic
Eastside street, especially the stretch between Eastern and Atlantic Avenues. Those four lanes have seen alot of action, drama, laughter, tears, heroism and ‘scandalo. Luckily “La Whittier” has been captured on film a few times and we can catch a brief visual of what it was all about. On the opening titles to the 1974 NBC TV show “Chico and the Man” we glimpse a lowrider wedding procession (paper flowers and all) heading east on Whittier. The camera sits across from JonSons Market and pans west to east as we see the Lerner Shop on Fetterly Ave (Where my ma bought her chonis and stuff) and the F.W. Woolworth’s store. The last angle shows the facade to Thrifty’s on Fraser Ave. Perhaps most of you can name some of the Eastside locations shown. As for the show itself, I think the theme song is a bit corny. We used to watch it because it was supposed to depict us, but one thing the “Man” didn’t seem to understand at the time was that we Chicanos knew Freddie Prinze was Puerto Rican and because we brown people aren’t interchangeable, we sometimes didn’t relate to his character. Here’s the lyrics to the theme song sung by Jose Feliciano:

Chico, don’t be discouraged,
The Man he ain’t so hard to understand.
Chico, if you try now,
I know that you can lend a helping hand.

Because there’s good in everyone
And a new day has begun
You can see the morning sun if you try.

And I know, things will be better
Oh yes they will for Chico and the Man
Yes they will for Chico and the Man.

I’ve included some still frames that show the boulevard in the early 70’s.

And if that ain’t enough “Boulevard” fix for you locos,…Let’s not forget this little celluloid gem from 1979,……

El Dedo: Brand X

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I wish I had the time to be more articulate. Or the patience to be more patient. In these times of La Crisis and economic uncertainty I find that I have to economize on words: can’t be wasting them on any old thing. But believe me that I have words, big bags of them, waiting to get poured out in a flood of meaning when I can figure out how to fit it into my schedule. Just cuz I ain’t saying nothing don’t mean I’m not thinking stuff. Thoughts cross my mind at all hours of the day, sometimes making me laugh for no reason, sometimes getting me upset like a mofo at some joker that deserves it. At some point I will have to squeeze in a bout of insanity to my busy life just to mete out my version of comeuppance.

Until that fateful day arrives I’ve come up with a quick and easy solution to deal with this problem that keeps gnawing at me, and I’m gonna call it El Dedo. (Yes, The Finger.) What unifies this fine series of posts? Well, the fact that I will give the finger to people, projects, and papers that sorely deserve it! Isn’t that kinda petty and juvenile? But of course!

I am equipped to tolerate lots of abuse but I am sick of these posers moving to LA and a few month later deciding to rename the city, calling everything East of where they feel comfortable the “Eastside.” We were making some headway on informing these newbies that the Eastside has a long history in Los Angeles and that it begins East of the river but lately there’s been another skirmish in that battle with lots of naive offenders once again writing us off the map, thinking they can dismiss El Sereno, Lincoln Heights, and Boyle Heights as being simply part of East LA. Nah fool, we ain’t having it.

The honor of the initial post to this series goes to that shitty paper with the even shittier title of “Brand X” which has been consistent in their renaming of the Eastside strategy, even though their mothership the LA Times thinks otherwise.

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Spokes & Words: Lazy Sunday Ride

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Since most people have better things to do on Memorial day, like sleeping in and spending quality time with family, we are switching up the ride to Sunday evening. We’ll still be meeting at mariachi Plaza at 7 p.m. and riding at 7:30ish to a secrete location that will not only make the ride fun, but a mystery.

I (Random) will have both bike and personal first aid on hand in case anything happens. Aside from that, please be sure your bike is in proper working condition, your front and back lights are working and maybe a sweater for when it get’s cold later on. And don’t forget to keep up with Spokes & Words through Facebook.

La Caida de Edgar

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Six years later and watching Edgar fall is one of the most hilarious things ever !! But then again it is pretty mean to laugh at someone else’s misfortune, but you just can’t help it. Which got me to thinking as I was laughing my ass off again watching the video, where is Edgar now ? Is he still mad at his friend for making him fall ? What happened after he fell ? Did his mom get mad at him or what ? Do people still clown on him for the video ? While I may not have answers to these questions, I do know that his video is one of the most watch and parodied videos out there. On youtube it says that the video was uploaded on May 8, but I just couldn’t wait that long to make this post. Where ever Edgar might be today, I hope he learned to laugh about it and take it with a grain a salt. You just can’t be mad about these kind of things all your life, it’s too short so enjoy it and laugh. Thanks Edgar.

There is no such thing as bad coffee

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Coffee is the alpha and the omega of my day.

Just as red or white wines go with different types of meat, there are certain foods that require a cup of coffee. My brother’s mouth waters when he talks about Colorado Donuts’ excellent buttermilk donuts with their drip coffee—heaven for less than $2. This is one of his early morning pit stops. I like the 7-11 coffee with steamed milk from their hot chocolate machine. I discovered this after experimenting with all the extras they offer –from chocolate powder to a splash of hazelnut liquid. These additives were all too much for me, but the steamed milk—ahhh, perfect. Oh and you can prepare your coffee on the spot just like you want it, mixing, adding, starting over, until you got it right. I pick up the pots and take a whiff of its contents to see if I might want to try something infused—but no, its always the regular coffee for me.

Homegirl Café, The Pantry, Phillippe’s, Nick’s Café, The Brite Spot and Rinconcito del Mar are my neighborhood breakfast places, each with their own particular great morning brew. At Rinconcito coffee is served with warm pan dulce made on the premises. No fancy espresso machines in these places, just a basic and delicious cup of joe. What would a Noah’s breakfast bagel be without their special aromatic dark and delicious hot offering? There is nothing like it.
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How To Determine Windiness Levels

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Here’s an urban survival tip for you to consider, which might come in handy at some crucial moment in your hectic life. If you want to determine how windy it is outside, say because you want to start a bbq or want to cut some tumbleweeds at the root to see them roll around all over the streets, measure the height of palm fronds on the sidewalk. Here we see a few inches of frond, which translates to a lil’ windy.

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Rambling On My Mind: Final Daze in Medellin: Like A Walk In The Park

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Part I
Part II
Part III


2 homies still asleep in hostel. whole place is quiet. i leave and at 945 i’m on the metro, not packed. get to vegetus in downtown, across from this parking lot. small spot, kinda cramped. they tell me it’s all vegan. hells yeah! get lasagna and it’s alright. yes, lasagna at 1030! even got some ice cream made of avena. i take some pics of menu and a woman kindly asks me why and i tell her, just for memories. she goes over to the counter and brings me a menu and says, “you can keep this one.” here it is

i split and it’s noon and hit up a net place and write some shit. walk around and at a corner, in front of shopping center, is a long-haired metal head selling the latest in death and black metal. i walk over and we talk. i dabble in the metal arts, i say. i favor the traditional heavy style a la trouble. push play, sucka, and let the dark riffs remind you why ozzy and tony are seers. and no that is not ozzy. as if.
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The Geniuses of East LA

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Last month Popular Mechanics announced that Motive Industries in Canada is in the process of developing an earth-friendly-eco car made out of hemp. Gives the concept of hot-boxing a new definition, right?

As I laughed non-stop about the marijuana-mobile in Cheech and Chong’s Up in Smoke— never did I think, “Hey, that’s a great idea!” I kinda remember this vehicle made out of weed as funny and absurd. Who knew that 33 years later this stoner-logic would be the answer to our gas and ecological woes? Now it’s genius!

This hemp car, The Kestrel is scheduled to be available in 2012 or 2013. More than likely it will not be too popular on the eastside though, because of its size, being electrical and its general meekness. Had the developers stuck to the original van as Cheech and Chong had envisioned it—we might have been more into it. Especially, if the van had that burning exhaust pipe, with it’s 100-foot mota-smoke screen.

The techs working on this hemp car have no idea how the car body will wear down, they believe it will have a quiet interior and will not smell. Still, I envision a side industry of car sprays and air fresheners with names like Kalifornia Kush, Turkish Gold or Blueberry Purps—sort of a rip on the popular New Car scent. I also wondered if the Kestrel would drive the scent dogs crazy when crossing the international border, especially on a really hot day. Since the body is organic, it is supposed to bounce back and be easy to repair. Just a few Zig-Zags would work maybe.

Hemp has the lowest amount of THC, the chemical that gives marijuana its magical properties. You’d probably have to torch the whole car to get any effect—but hemp does have great nutritional value. I think that’s a big plus, because during some natural disaster—you’d have something life saving to gnaw on.

Now my thoughts are onto other genius inventions from the eastside. Maybe in 2025 all vehicles will come standard with hydraulics—something we may need for a future flood or for jumping-in during an earthquake.

 

APRIL FOOLS: 1st Street to have $tarbuck$ & Denny’$ in Boyle Heights

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I got word down the grape vine earlier this week that the Metro owned property on the corner of 1st and Boyle will officially become the new site for the :First Street Plaza.” It’s funny because with all this talk of gentrification, the plaza, where the laundry mat use to be, will now be the site for a brand new Denny’s Restaurant and a Starbucks. In the past, the site was a prime location when they were trying to bring in a Barns and Nobles, but community peeps made their voices heard and stopped that project from going any further. So where was everyone one this one ? I never thought it was going to officially go through because I thought the same people and groups would have made their voices heard, but they didn’t.

Home boy that clued me in to the deal going down said that it’s official like a referee with a whistle now, it’s too late. The project is slated to cost close to a million clams, maybe more because there is currently nothing on that lot except dirt, so they are going to build and an entirely new “green building”. Besides having a Denny’s and  Starbucks, they’re in talks with having a pink berry/yogurt land to come in as well. They figured that with the success of the shops in Little Tokyo off Central and 2nd, 1st and Boyle would be prime locations to bring in “variety” to the community. And of course, it’s goldline adjacent for anyone to just hop on the train and stop by. I still can’t believe Boyle Heights residents fell asleep at the wheel and we let this deal go down like Walgreens. Chale.

The Xentrification Situation in Boyle Heights

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I like Cinthia Gonzalez because in her recent “Gentrification in Boyle Heights” post over at the rough rider blog, she broke down how she see’s the changes going on in Boyle Heights. Esos pinches hipsters !! So, La Curbed picked up on it and some pendejos started talking shit. FTP. So, then Southern California Public Radio picked up on it as well asking readers to chime in on whether BH is getting gentrified. And now everyone, including myself because when I hear BH mentioned my ears ring is talking about it. I think the L.A. Times just sent someone over to write a story too.  So, what do people think ? Is BH officially gentrified or as I have come to say Xentrified ?

Funny thing is that I have been working on a post to talk about xentrification but Cinthia beat me to the punch. Great job !! She has an awesome journalism teacher over at Roosevelt that encourages and pushes the students to write reactionary stories like this. As for what I think about the xentrification situation, well the place is pretty much going to those who have an active voice at community planning meetings, elders. I go to all these meetings about what streets are gonna get lights, speed bumps and stuff and all I see is elders. They want safe, nice looking streets for everyone.

At the same time, not to put anyone on blast, but any xentrification that is going comes directly from “people” like me. Yes that’s right, it’s an inside job. I tell hipsters about how awesome BH through this very blog and what do they do ? Blog about it as well and tell soo many people that we can’t have street vendors around anymore. But who are “people” like me you ask ? Well pretty much anyone that goes to art shows, goes to primera taza, drinks at eastside luv, goes on bike rides from mariachi plaza. You know, Xikano Hipsters.