Author Archives: EL CHAVO!

About EL CHAVO!

I like poetry, romantic candlelit dinners, and quiet walks on the beach.

Look Cool Pooping Your Pants

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What do you get the modern hipster baby that still poops his pants? Why, fancy designer diapers to distract you from the wafting aromas! By the time you’ve snapped out of the temporary yet recurring horror that humanity is being flushed into oblivion by the same gaggle of fools that control most of the production of our necessities, the squishy bottomed baby has been removed from your work counter, with maybe a few unseen specimens left behind. But the baby looked cool.

Yup, the tagline really is “the coolest you’ll look pooping your pants” and the jean label reads “little bowel movers” or something like that. Oh haha, let’s all laugh at the cuteness that is yet another reason why our society doesn’t work. Giggle, Giggle!

If you’re a parent, you better not buy these. Don’t make me have to mock your baby.

A few yards from this fine example of Modern American Living…

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Day Trippin’: El Golfito aka Golfland!

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I mean really, who has money to go anywhere these days? The fake ass economists keep talking up the fact that stocks rich people own are doing slightly better, like it has any bearing on our miserable lives. Woohoo, GM turned a profit after they were showered with tax dollars! Fucking Yay! The surge of employment due to the temporary I’ll-take-anything-now Census jobs  is suddenly a harbinger of good times ahead! Reading the news is inspiring.

Yet at my job there’s talk that they will close up shop, or at least get rid of some of the expendables. (And we are all expendable.) It’s all worries and rumors about the impending doom. Better start saving my nickels. And so my weekends are reduced to finding amusing things to do a bit closer to home, things that will keep me distracted from the precarious nature of our current means of survival. Hmm, now I understand why my parents brought me to this place all those years ago.

I present to you this cheap distraction, an institution that doubles as an old friend: Golfland!

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May Day 2010 in Los Angeles: Some Photos

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If you’ve grown up in the United States as an “other” or you just happen to look like one, you are probably quite accustomed to the regular indignities of not being one of them. Somehow you manage. You just want to get by. But then they do something so utterly outrageous and in your face that yer like “Fuck This, No Mas!” They push the indignities over that line you were hoping to avoid. Arizona did that recently, making any friends and family that look “other” open targets to harassment. It’s not like harassment wasn’t the norm before, its just that now it’s a protected and legal practice.

Fuck that.

Sometimes, enough is enough. Time to take it to the streets to show our collective disapproval.

Warning! Lots of pictures ahead.

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The State Of The Torta

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The torta has got to be one of the most unappreciated cheap Mexican fast foods around, the lonely and homely half-sister to that king taco that gets all the attention.  How can a mere sandwich even begin to measure up to glory that is the taco? Still, little Miss Torta has her own charms. Sometimes the Torta is exactly the one you want to do. I have a few favorite spots where the torta is the only item I want to put in my mouth. (Hmm, that sounds funny.) But I figured it was time to venture away from the known and try a few other places, see how their so-called tortas stack up. Someone needs to start the Great Torta Hunt to kick off an appreciation of our most favorite utilitarian sandwich.

I took a few notes and pics of some recent examples across our city, for what little its worth. Click ahead to see the State of the Modern Torta in Los Angeles.

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Dark Crossing Opens Today!

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Dark Crossing finally hits the theaters today! Never heard of it? Me neither. But hey, it has Miklo of Blood In, Blood Out fame so its got to be good. Showing in select theaters only, the nearest one seems to be in Texas.

Or you could wait a few weeks and check it out at your local library.

Action Packed!

Click ahead for some classic Miklo clips. You know you’re gonna.
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Paletero Man

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Last night I was hanging out at a youtube party, where various folks pick a music video to share with the gathered crowd. It’s all the rage these days, didn’t you know? Vicente from the bay area shared this ridiculous video that had us busting up for minutes, which I thought was the stupidest video ever. A paletero without a properly insulated cart? Not even a damn ice chest? Plus no bells or horns either on the shopping cart, nobody’s gonna know the paletero is coming around. Even the poorest and dumbest ambulante in LA knows that this shit ain’t gonna work. What’s wrong with them fools from Frisco? At least they paid a visit to the laundromat, otherwise known as the functional local plaza.

This morning I can’t remember any of the other videos so I guess this was the best one of the night. Enjoy!

Terremoto

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(Jesus overlooks the hills of B.C. back in 2006)

Like everyone else in Los Angeles, I was watching the Santos (it is Easter after all) vs Jaguares match on Univision, and it all started shaking. Turns out its a pretty big quake from out of Baja California, our lil’ sister state down south. A whopping 6.9 quake to be exact, according to this government site.  And they’ve even issued a Tsunami warning. Ay caray!

Aguas con las aguas.

Update: Oops, no Tsunami warning after all.

Update 4:21 pm: 5.1 earthquake in So. Cal, near Brawley.

Crazy picture from Mexicali (via LA Weekly): http://tweetphoto.com/17203656

Update 5:37pm: Check out ABC Ch. 7 for the latest twitter updates. Seriously?

Update 9:05 : KCAL 9 “We’ve been monitoring twitter all day.” Great!

Update 9:24 : CBS 2 wants you to join their Street Team and email earthquake photos/videos of splashing swimming pools. Since when are we employed by CBS?

Update 11:13pm : Univision 34 has a live call with an official from Baja California. I guess they have Spanish speakers on staff.

Update 11:16pm : Telemundo 52 has Jorge Fregoso from Mexicali talking about the situation there. I guess Ch. 52 also has Spanish speakers on staff.

Update 11:19pm : Univision 34 reading messages from their facebook page.

Canasta Season

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It’s almost payday. Some dead vato will be remembered this weekend and the people need their supplies to help in the celebration. Why not make a bit of extra cash in the process? Every year there are different spots that bring you these glories of glory, with varying levels of craftsmanship, like these simple teddy bears ones. I got to see the soft opening of a few spots in Majestic Lincoln Heights. Click ahead if you want to see just a few more.

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