You think I’m done with these stupid random videos? Ha! Today we check out the hot action on Indiana, the street that divides Boyle Heights from East LA, and Whittier that other major Avenue that goes on forever. Yup, this is the Eastside.
Lately there’s been a few more pretenders doing the fake Eastside thing (they always send us press releases and fawning notes) and I’m about to get my chelas ready to go on another not-the-Eastside rant. Get ready for it okay?
Here’s an urban survival tip for you to consider, which might come in handy at some crucial moment in your hectic life. If you want to determine how windy it is outside, say because you want to start a bbq or want to cut some tumbleweeds at the root to see them roll around all over the streets, measure the height of palm fronds on the sidewalk. Here we see a few inches of frond, which translates to a lil’ windy.
It’s hard to get a good picture from a moving vehicle and this is the best I could do. What you kinda see in that picture above is a ridiculous aesthetic touch for that new mall in Monterey Park on Atlantic by the 10, better known as the newest location of Happy Family Vegetarian Restaurant, after being forced to relocate from this very spot to allow for the development of this very mall! Wherever they go they still make great food. Too bad the new place is a drab and lifeless stucco enclosure, no doubt some vision of the future of yet another lousy developer.
Which brings us back to that aesthetic touch, a water feature in the underground parking lot, which you only notice on the way out. There is something dehumanizing about this fountain. A miserable attempt at having you leave the miserable development in a better mood because you saw some water floating by. It ends up only highlighting the lifelessness of the whole structure, reminding you of how unnatural this all is, a fucking mini-river on your way out of an ugly underground parking structure. Lipstick on a corpse.
If you plan to visit this waterwork, take the exit to Hellman which is where you will find this refreshing addition to our social car lives. Don’t you dare park to get a closer view, the river of cars need to keep flowing!
Yes, I hereby nominate this as the Worst Water Feature in LA County. There just can’t be anything else as absurd, can there?
Let us take another look at how the lil’ old Torta is doing these days in Los Angeles. First up a quick tour into Boyle Heights which seems to be Cemita Central.
The first trickle of devastating news came through facebook, links to some still images. Then another link. Turn on the tv, maybe they’ll be on the case. When they did get on the story they showed some of the same things already available online, some grade school explanations on how earthquakes happen, and some “exclusive YouTube videos” which was kinda sad. Everyone has exclusive YouTube video access.
So there I was, about to eat my veggie torta from Chapalita, when all of a sudden this happens. The yearly celebration in honor of Cuauhtemoc was going on today, these dancers were headed to his statue by Lincoln Park. By the time I got there it was all over cuz nobody was there.
Only on the Eastside.
“But what about the torta?” I hear you asking. Well here it is:
When your daily intake of calories is defined via a “combo number” then it’s probably a good time to contemplate other options. Maybe food with a name?
I don’t get the appeal of fast food, other than the fact that it is cheap and easy, although maybe that is enough of a draw. But what a wasted opportunity to try something interesting instead. I know Eastsiders like their fast food or else these places would go out of business. I’m interested in learning though, so let me ask you this:
Why do you frequent fast food places? Is it the price? The convenience? Lack of other local options? This metiche would like to know.
(Gas man checking the gas lines. Of course he is.)
It’s a hopping Saturday Night with lots of festivity in the air: a couple of parties down the street with some loud ass Banda-Rancheras-sabra que mas playing, young mensos are tearing up the asphalt on their motorcycles probably headed to some desmadre or other, and my neighbor is going crazy dancing along to one of those new stupid “interactive” video games. Me? Break out the chelas and the checkbook cuz it’s bill paying time! Hey, it has to get done, que no?
I heard on the radio today that Homeboy Industries were expanding one of their business ventures with a line of salsas and tortilla chips that you can now purchase at Ralph’s stores across Southern California. Yeah, everyone supports Homeboy Industries and their good intentions, but how are the salsas and chips? Well I got a chance to try some out!
