Author Archives: AlDesmadre

About AlDesmadre

Al Guerrero, Artist/Humorist. Los Angeles, CA. Born in Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua, Mexico and raised in East Los Angeles from the age of two, Al Guerrero grew up just steps from the famous Chicano strip, Whittier Boulevard. His youth experiences include witnessing and participating in the 1970 Chicano Power demonstrations, cruising cars on Whittier Boulevard, and graduating from Garfield High School. After dropping out of UCLA (with honors), he drew upon his lifelong passion for art and cartooning and pursued a career in graphic arts. During this period, he traveled overseas and found artistic inspiration from the masterworks he discovered within the European Art Museums. His career blossomed when he was eventually hired by the Walt Disney Company in 1995, where he worked as a creative artist for a number of years. Although the artistic work was rewarding, he eventually grew weary & disillusioned with the bureaucracy of the entertainment business, and left to work briefly in the educational field. His credits include producing a feature film with actor, Conrad Brooks of Ed Wood fame, founding and performing with the Punk Rock group “The Psychocats” at numerous L.A. & Hollywood venues during the 1990’s, and in 1999 he founded and created a hell-bent puppet cabaret show aptly named: “The Puppets from Hell”. As a long time active member of the Los Angeles Cacophony Society, Al “Quaeda”, as he was known, was involved in countless Cacophony Society pranks and events throughout the city. He also produced the “Incredibly Strange Cinema” cult film series as well as themed events such as the now infamous “Pornothon Movie Nights” and the satirical “Mexican Night: Noche De Tequila & Putas” shows at local nightclub venues. Throughout his art career, he has exhibited his canvas paintings at various local galleries, and has also written & illustrated numerous comic strips and Graphic Novel stories. Today, he lives in Silver Lake, California and works as a freelance artist and writer with numerous multi-media projects under his belt and in the works. His personal hobbies include collecting vintage toys and comic books, cinema history and Los Angeles City history. Contact: alguerrero@earthlink.net Al Guerrero P.O. Box 29697 Los Angeles, CA 90029-0697 www.alguerrero.com Myspace.com/thepuppetsfromhell

Pimp My Taco Truck

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Please consider these two recent news items courtesy of the L.A. Times:

 

Los Angeles City Atty. Rocky Delgadillo said Monday that he had asked a judge to bar 36 convicted prostitutes and five pimps from walking anywhere on a 5.7-mile stretch of Figueroa Street, part of a larger effort to crack down on a brazen sex trade in South Los Angeles.

 

And…..

 

Los Angeles County supervisors make it a misdemeanor crime — punishable by fines and jail for Taco Trucks to stay parked in one place for more than an hour. if they don’t move after that, they will face a penalty of up to a $1,000 fine and/or six months in jail.

 

See where I’m going with this?… that’s right, combine the two enterprises and everybody’s back in business! A Carnal Cornucopia on Wheels.

“Yeah, give me dos de Ass-ada, y dos de cabeza!”

 

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

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On this Mother’s Day, I want to honor and thank my “Ma” for raising me as she did.

Yes, my Dad also had a hand in our upbringing, but Mom was the strongest overall influence on my life. Whether the job she did was good or bad is irrelevant as far as I’m concerned. What matters most is that I am who I am today, because of her, and I’m OK with it.

Even though my brothers and I may now possibly carry untold amounts of dysfunctional baggage from growing up in our House of Horrors, I am nevertheless grateful that it was never so bad that we couldn’t survive it and still make somewhat decent lives for ourselves. We all managed, for the most part, to stay clear of jails, skid row, asylums and deportations, so as they say, that can’t be all bad.

So Mom, as your oldest son, these are my thanks to you, for all the special things you do. Happy Mother’s Day.

Your Son,

Al Desmadre

Continue reading →

STREET ART TRAGEDIES

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We’ve all seen them. We might pass by them on the streets and pretend to look away……

But they are there. Always there. Staring sadly from public street walls. These are the unloved renderings of some unheralded artists who, at one time, attempted to leave their artistic marks upon an otherwise blighted world.

These works started out perhaps with a sketch, some paint, and good intentions.

But now, they stand as nothing more than painted victims of ridicule from cynical would be Art Critics like myself.

Could I have done any better? Probably not. Have I the right to critique and judge these pieces? Probably not. Will I do it anyway? Simón! Here are a few specimens chosen from the Los Feliz, Silver Lake & Echo Park areas, (or as I like to call it, “The Westside”). Judge for yourselves.

Continue reading →

EASTSIDE LOVE ADVICE with TIA CONCHA

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Dear Tia Concha,

I met this Cool Vato on MySpace and he wants to take me out on a date. My problem is that he wants to take me out to dinner at a Taco Truck, so I told him “Oh, HELL NO!”  and now he’s all feelings with me. I wish that he would take me like to this fancy place in East L.A. called “La Serenata De Garibaldi” or someplace like that. Tia Concha, what should I do? Signed,

Sorrow, Confusion, Anger & Grief, Montebello

Dear S.C.A.G.,

Sabes Que?, “La Serenata De Garibaldi” isn’t even REAL E.L.A., It’s an artificial, wannabe high class pinchi outpost for yuppies and westsiders who want to claim that they go have dinner in E.L.A. It’s the “Eastside without the “Eastsiders.”, so come down off those high huaraches and get real Esa!

 

Dear Tia Concha,

I’m the type of guy who is turned on by strong women in positions of power. Lately, I’ve been having romantic thoughts and fantasies about one woman in particular and it’s driving me crazy. That woman I dream about is, L.A. County Supervisor Gloria Molina. What advice can you give me? Signed,

Bob Osso, Silver Lake

Dear Baboso,

Calm down, Fool! That there is TOO MUCH JAMON PARA DOS HUEVOS!

 

Querida Tia Concha,

My fiancé and I met at an Immigrant Rights Rally last summer and now we’re both getting our Green Cards and having our wedding in a few months. We’re sending you an invitation and hope you will join us on our happiest day! Signed,

Fulana De Tal, Pico Union

Dear Fulana, Ay, That’s Sweet Mija! It’s so nice to see that even Illegal Immigrants are going “Green” these days.

 

Dear Tia Concha,

Last week, I came home unexpectedly and when I walked into the bedroom I found my wife Pancha in our bed with another woman. The other woman was on top of my wife so they didn’t notice I was there, after a few minutes I snuck back out of the house. I haven’t confronted her on it yet because I’m still in shock and I don’t know exactly what to do next. Tia Concha, I need your Consejos! Signed,

In A Bad Way, Lincoln Heights

Dear Way,

Now let me get this straight, You found Pancha with a Sancha giving her the Plancha? Sabes Que? My advice to you is “Let Sleeping Manfloras Lie”. If she’s still your Ruca, then respect her alternate lifestyles and wait for her to tell you about it whenever she’s ready. Besides, you’re a Cochino for peeping in on them, so don’t be a Chicken Shit Cabron, OK, Guey? (wacha how I get all my farm animals in?)

 

Dear Tia Concha,

A little bird told me that you’re an ex- gang banging CHOLA, is this true? Signed,

Chava, L.A.

 

Dear Chavala,

That wasn’t a Little Bird that told you, that was a PINCHI RATA!

 

Orale Pues! If any of you FOOLS out there want my advice on your Problemas De Amor, have comments, need schooling on any subject, have chismes, or if you just want to call me out, email me here or at latiaconcha@gmail.com. I might print your pinchi letter here next time. Also, you can add me as your homie at my new MySpace chingadera: www.myspace.com/tiaconcha

Tia Concha/ Y Que!

 

 

Memories of Lost L.A. Eateries

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Johnny\'s Shrimp Boat

Call me L.A. selfish, but I am greatly opposed to creating a “Best of L.A.” list, especially for our foods & restaurants. I cringe when local magazines print their “Best Of” issues, and here’s why. Growing up in L.A., I’ve accumulated over 40 years of my own best and worst food knowledge based on countless miles of adventure, explorations, accidental discoveries, bouts of food poisoning, word-of-mouth, patience, and just plain old trial and error. Continue reading →

My Favorite East L.A. Weekend

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Inspired by  the “My Favorite Weekend” column in the LAT Calendar, I give you my version of:

 MY FAVORITE E.L.A WEEKEND

BY AL DESMADRE

EASTSIDE PENDÉJO

Hiking in the Hollywood Hills with my Labs? Brunch in Malibu? A movie at the Grove? Shopping in trendy Los Feliz boutiques or Pottery Barn? Wine bars & Sushi? NO MÁMES!!!

This is my favorite East L.A. Weekend:

SABADO GIGANTE

Saturday morning I’ll usually call my Compadre Fermín to come over and give me a jump start. We’ll work on the car till noon or until we get hungry then we’ll call over the  Shopping Cart Guy with The best Elótes and Chicharrónes in the neighborhood. My compadre will usually run down to Safety Liquors for some cold brews and we’ll kick it old school with some 8-tracks of Oldies but Goodies Vols. 1-10 and some Johnny Chíngas while we wash, detail and primer his bomb. Lately, I’ve been having problems with my car’s muffler, so we might head over to “EL PEDORRERO” on Whittier Blvd. for an inspection.

 El Pedorrero Continue reading →

ROAD ASS!

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Saw photo of this road sign in today’s L.A. Times. If this means; “WARNING, JACKASSES PRESENT!“, then I can think of a few areas around town that need one of these.

ALARMA!

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Desensitizing you to violence since 1963So I jump off the bus and navigate the busy Eastside sidewalk, deftly dodging the various Vátos, Viéjas, and random Nácos. Suddenly, I struggle to hold back a violent impulse to gag. At a corner news stand I am suddenly eye-level with a magazine cover showing a decapitated human head with it’s skin brutally scraped off. I recognize the screaming yellow logo on the publication as the one that has haunted me ever since I was a little Pee-Pee Pants Cabrón. Immediately, I shift my gaze to the other magazines, spying various layouts of “Chicas con Grandes Nalgas” in an attempt to wash away that ghastly image of yet another victim of Mexican Narco-Satanicos! Continue reading →