Category Archives: Geography

The Big Move

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The Big Move: a new path and a new identity? -graphic courtesy of LA Creek Freak

It was inevitable, some folks just can’t stand to be wrong or admit their mistakes but luckily in our modern and hi-tech world, these things can be fixed. I’m talking about the latest in the Eastside name grab debacle. You remember all those poor confounded souls, new arrivals, Echo Park hipsters and journalists who somehow believed neighborhoods west of the Los Angeles River were part of the Eastside. The Eastside issue is a moot point now, discussion and debate are needless. Thanks to articles in the Los Angeles Times and the numerous posts on this here site, EVERYONE knows where the Eastside begins: East of the Los Angeles River.

However, some folks are not so easily deterred, oh no! Some people will stick by their story, even when they are so very wrong. They’ve told us: “History and geography in Los Angeles are fluid” “Eastside east of the river? Essentialists!” and other cute put-downs created to entertain the post-modern sense of wit so popular with residents of hip neighborhoods. The problem is they know they were wrong but have grown tired of deflecting the truth. So they put their resources together, gathered their connections and called in favors to make things right. That’s how it’s been done in the past – contracts, paperwork, legalese and the proper connections have always made things “right” for the privileged in this country, so why let a little thing like geography stop them? The solution was simple: make the west, east!
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Chicano Jewish School to Open in Boyle Hts.

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The Breed Street Shul in Boyle Hts. has announced that they will soon begin classes for local residents to convert to Judaism. The goal is to tie Latinos to Judaism so that when Latinos have more political power they will continue America’s support for Isreal.

Ricardo Montoyiswich a recently converted Chicano Jew said, “This will help re-establish the Jewish presence in Boyle Hts. and hopefully lure Canters back to the heights!” Montoyiswich, who will be teaching several classes at the Shul, said his life has changed for the better since he made the switch. “As an actor I was having a hard time getting work, but out of no where, once I converted, I started getting all these cool gigs.”

Some of the classes that will be offered include: “Putting Down Those Whiny Santos,” “How To Leave La Virgen and still Love Your Mom,” “Circumcising The Chile: Grin and Bare It,” “Menorah and Dradle Care for Chicanos (Don’t smoke it and it’s NOT Pon),” and “How To Trace Your Distant Jewish Roots.”

Sleepy Tonatiuh, a next door neighbor to the Shul and proud Aztec dancer said, “This ain’t right. They should be teaching people about the people on this land and how this land was stolen, just like the Isreali’s stole Palestine.” He plans to protest the classes once they open by having his danza group do ceremonies during class time. When asked for a response, Montoyiswich said, “Sounds like that indio needs to see the play “Palestine New Mexico” and learn how Indians are Jewish.”

Will there ever be peace in the mid Eastside?