Saving Los Angeles from Becoming a First World City


Many of America’s cities are in the crapper thanks to years of policy that’s favored suburbanites and their wasteful consumption habits. And LA has suffered the glut of gentrifying jerks looking for a lifestyle instead of a place to live. Buildings turned into condos, markets turned into  fancy t-shirt shops, restaurants with one word names. It’s like some invasion by rich asshole foreigners, quickly turning Los Angeles into a First World City, instead of an American city.  But this trend is reversible and the opportunity to clean up this city, and get rid of all the cleaned-up-ness, is achievable.

What’s the difference between a First World City and an American City? Let me show you the signs.


Here’s a First World city McDonald’s, have you ever seen anything like that? When did the Scottish take over our American lands?


Banks advertise in foreign languages.  It’s spelled city in American.


Lawyers advertise in foreign. I assume that says lawyers, but I refuse to learn French to find out. This is America, not Canada. What an outrage.


Everywhere you go in this city, you don’t even feel like you’re in the US anymore.


You’d better get a GPS to make sure you’re in America’s 2nd largest city. Because it’s starting to feel like we are in some crazy Roman Times.


See what I mean? Do you want your city to become part of some European past? This is America, where we use the Arabic numeral system. If they are going to invade our 3rd world country, they should at least have the decency to learn our numbers.


Clinique? Le Beau? Botox? Juvederm? Perlane? Restylane? I mean, it’s impossible to even figure out what this store is for, but I know they obviously don’t want me to shop here.


Maison D’ Optique. I can see they are trying to turn LA into some First World city, which we have never been. We’ve got to fix this, we’ve got to make LA an American city once more.


The French eyeglass invasion continues.


Kaffé Rouge, why won’t the Germans learn American?


I mean, don’t we have American crafts already?


I don’t even know which of those ugly foreign languages this is in, but I do know it’s part of that bourgeoisie  sandwich culture, food for the filthy rich. First world, indeed.


“Ristorante” seems to be all the rage these days, I assume it’s some sort of comedy club for those people.


If you think so highly of Swisserrland, then why don’t you move back there? Leave the substitutes to us!


This sausage stand even has the gall to paint the awning in the colors of the Italian flag, in good ol’ US of A! Maybe if they threw on a serpent and eagle on a nopal, then it’d be acceptable. But not this.




Well I guess lief is in American, but you made me have to break out the dictionary. That’s a no-no in our Third world city. Go back to college, you college types.


Even the well maintained dumps they live in are an affront to our sensibilities. Verde is acceptable, but what the hell is a Palazzo? Some sort of bread orb with sauce and cheese?


Why don’t you take your money pans to some other place that wants to be a first world city? Don’t ruin it for the rest of us.


You call this a concha? Pfft, it’s all flaky (figures) and full of butter (Euro allright) and some other tasty nonsense.


I see three languages here, which is two too many. The only thing I can figure out is that this place is open, but it was actually closed when I tried to push the door. Typical first worlders. The joy of living is being able to walk down our city and be able to understand all the signage, which is a  becoming impossible lately. If you want the United States to retake control of it’s 2nd largest city, you know what to do.

We can take this city back, but we have to take action.

Update: Yeah, this and other post on LA Eastside today were just April Fool’s related. Pa’ que sepan.

Some people are fools all year round.

13 thoughts on “Saving Los Angeles from Becoming a First World City

  1. don’t forget the phenomenon of turning english words foreign: tar-jay (target), le sizzler….

  2. Whine, whine, whine.

    Most of the bloggers here should get over their inferiority complex. Get a life already, you bunch of crybaby armchair revolutionaries.

    If America is so awful, you can always leave.

    Your myopic views do not represent my East LA.

    Chinga tu madre.

    P.S. Who cares about what is posted on
    Fuck them as well.

  3. Que Verguenza Chavo!
    You hit the nail on proverbial head with this post, as many language’s as we in LA are confronted with why is it that the Spanish language seems to send the xenophobes and nativists into a Gran Mal seizure.
    The Spanish language that was here from the beginning of Los Angeles and what is now the western USA, and sends the racist xenophobes like the Walter Moore’s and Lou Dobbs into a double foam at the mouth.

    Below is a typical example of this reaction, I copied it from the “Mayor Sam” blog that showcases xenophobes and people such as Moore.
    The idea that the Mayor of Los Angeles spoke to some students in Spanish begot this phobic reaction, it cracked me up because it is so typical of the xenophobia Spanish causes the victim to suffer.
    Pobrecito’s, que lastima!

    Rita Of Sunland/Wally Wharton said…
    To the cholo/leftist idiot 11:17PM: How can you say Spanish is just as important as English here IN AN AMERICAN CITY?? Ah, Spanish– the language of crime!! Arrogance and ignorance– that’s some heritage to be proud of, alright.

    Rita Of Sunland/Wally Wharton said…
    Boy, that tape made me sick. Especially when he’s speaking Spanish to the kids in that computer give-a-way sequence. Doesn’t he think it’s imperative they learn English? I guess not! With Tony it’s just all about the Mexicans, everything’s gotta be for the Mexicans, or he could care less.

  4. Great stuff, Chavo. LOL. That is a classic. I’m emailing this link to family and friends. A coworker of mine who’s a certified “know nothing” also once said, “adios”. I told him he could get fined in Arizona for that (a law he supports). Unreal. Que Locuras! (I can say it with a clear conscience, I’ve never had a problem with Americans speaking languages other than English…) I thought you were going to say that the “XIV” one meant that they must be Nortenos. LOL. Hey, cops up here in N. Cali do use the number 14 by itself as cause to classify people as gang members. What’s the deal, Michael Mina? We know you’ve taken a few trips to San Jose…

  5. Of course if an “American” complains about too many signs in spanish you call him a xenophobe. El Chavo and Don Quixote get some cheese for all the whining you two chavalitas do. a la verga no seas la llorona

  6. Hector,
    Don’t tell me you are willing to tolerate this French and Italian invasion? What next, you’ll have us eating pommes frites and pizzas?

  7. Hector you falso, learn some Spanish and quit complaining, it can be fun and very educational, much easier on you than your preferred lavativa de leche

  8. Los Angeles is a perfect example of what is American. A melting pot of different cultures, interests, motivations, and open-minds.

  9. “MEXICO” is a perfect example of what is American. A melting pot of different culutres, interests, motivations, and open-minds.”

    There I fixed that for you.

    The U.S. is most certainly NOT that much of a mixing pot. Mexico’s history, food, music, clothes, and everything else reflect much more our shared history than what the paved-over crap hole that the U.S. has become.

    Mexico has it’s problems, but when it comes to cultural mixing they’ve got the U.S. beat every which way.

  10. Haha.
    I see what you’re saying.

    LA is home to many other immigrants and communities from all over the world as well. Armenians, Persians, Thai, Etc… All of which have made their mark. Not to mention other Americans who constantly flood the metropolis and bring something new.

  11. As a child I never understood the French/Italian = Fancy, and Spanish doesn’t here. But as I grew up, I left childish ideas, and realized it’s racism.

    Those whom speak Spanish, here, are the undesirables.

    Espèces de racistes!!!

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