Coachella. Layaway. YES YOU CAN!


I’m listening to cheesy 80s music streaming via yahoo and I hear this commercial for Coachella and not that I’m a big Coachella person or get in a car and go to the desert to listen to crappy music kind of person, even in my 20s that was not me. I have always been a read a book, drink a bottle of vodka, go to sleep, wake up at 9pm and go to a dive bar and argue with you kind of person.

But what caught my ear was apparently this year’s Coachella is offering a layaway option.

Layaway to go to sit in the desert where there are all kinds of rules like:

No chairs
No food or beverages (you have to buy the overpriced food and alcohol there, though I didn’t see anything about alcohol and I’m really not seeing the point of an alcohol free festival unless it is a Mormon Music Festival.)
No stuffed animals (what the hell is that “no” for…)
No drugs or drug paraphernalia (to me there is no point in going to the desert without taking drug, if god didn’t want us to use drugs in the desert then why did he make meth grow there?)
No parking overnight. No overnight parking…??!!! Nearest bus stop is three miles away, nearest train station three miles away…so I guess you spend 100 bucks on a hotel to sleep at for five hours. I wonder do the hotels also have layaway?

Though there are some “yes you cans” feel free to bring cigarettes, sun block and the kids. Kids under 5 are free! GOODY. Kids at a music festival, so much fun! I love when people bring their kids to bars and then I have to stop saying fuck. I think we should all blur the boundaries. I think I’m going to start having sex with my boyfriend in the children section of the Central Library.

This festival with it’s sucky “yes you cans”  doesn’t even sound kind of fun and if it costs so much you have to put it on layaway, well that just seems kind of crazy.

For the 15 bucks (10 dollars if you live near union station or have a bus pass) I will put you on the Metrolink to Riverside with some downloaded music. You can go sit out under the hot sun and hang out with a bunch of people you don’t know. I’m sure you’ll even run into some screaming kids and will have the opportunity to purchase some overpriced crappy food.

Layaway for a music festival, wow…I guess you can.

by Browne Molyneux

This entry was posted in Analysis, culture, La Crisis, Musica, Rant and tagged , , by Browne Molyneux. Bookmark the permalink.

About Browne Molyneux

My name is Browne Molyneux. I'm a lady. I'm a radical feminist. I'm black. I'm an Angeleno. I'm an artist. I'm carFREE. I'm a freelance writer. I'm a blogger. I'm a philosopher. I'm a humanist. I'm a journalist. I formerly wrote a column on transportation, Tracks for LA City Beat. The above are all of the things I have to work on being, got questions email me. My topics of interests include but are not limited to politics, transportation, dark green issues, economics, race relations, feminism, culture, working class urban life, media, art, Los Angeles and literature.

8 thoughts on “Coachella. Layaway. YES YOU CAN!

  1. Yay, Browne’s back!
    I actually like a bunch of the bands playing at Coachella but I can’t see myself at one of these concerts unless I had VIP passes and can sneak in my own food and beverages.
    I made $$$ off selling Coachella tickets a few years back. I had tix for the coveted Manu Chao/Rage Against the Machine night. Sold ’em to a frat boy from USC for double the price. Hehehe!

  2. HAHAHAHA! I am laughing out loud, and also I am rolling on the floor and laughing my ass off. Sorta.

    The Kmart of the music scene, in more ways than one.

  3. Browne had a long illness and had to escape from downtown. I really thought the first comment to this post would be: “I have kids and I take them to festivals and it’s just fine and blah, blah, blah, blah….”

    I think chidless people should let people with children know when we go somewhere and then you surprise us with your kid we’re real bummed. I went to lunch with a friend and her two little ones (hey, I thought they were spending time with dad.) Yeah of course when your mini yous show up unannoucned we’re going to act like it’s cool, because we don’t want to be jerks and go, “I don’t have kids, because they are annoying and you must know about annoying kids, because you have two of them.” Anyways she had to go to the car, because she had to get something, left me in there with a two year old and a four year old. Both of them liked touching everything. The two year old cried if you didn’t let her touch stuff. But the two year old was good with using the words please and thank you, but every one minute can I please touch this. Can I please touch that? Can I please go in your purse? Can I please taste your mimosa?

    Mommy was gone for 15 minutes. I’m going to lose mommy’s number, email address, she hasn’t discovered facebook yet, she’s a bit busy.

    When I was at Two Boots, eating pizza minding my own business little kid who is about three, adorable of course, but I didn’t want to talk to her. I didn’t want to talk about her dolls. I didn’t want her at my table, but because I was polite and seemed happy her parents were all cool with it and not getting her away from me.

    Maybe if people’s children come to talk to me I should be myself and not turn into kid friendly person and then maybe people would keep the future away from me.


  4. I agree with you Browne. I hate when I’m at a restaurant or anywhere for the matter and parents let their kids come up to my table or whatever and just assume because I didn’t straight up say get the hell away from me I want them all around me. And parents should not be taking kids to music festivals like Coachella. I don’t care how liberal they are or if their parents took them to concerts when they were young…I want to be able to chung my drink and slowly kill myself with my cigarettes….keep your kids away. And that’s my rant of the day!

  5. u guys dont know what u r talkn about, ive been there many times and so far its the highlight of my summer, its a great experience since its always me n my haina. the music is great n the experience unbelievable. ive seen the best performances, ill never forget roger waters, it was amazing.

  6. Hmmm, I think kids pick up the neurotic tendencies of their parents and it’s unfortunate lots of parents are kinda screwed up. But the ones that aren’t, their kids seem pretty cool. I’m one who prefers social gatherings of mixed ages from babies to kids to seniors but in most of these situations, the kids know they aren’t gonna get special treatment. I think some of these issues are cultural too.
    When my brother and I were growing up, my mom was really active in civic and other type organizations (mainly bilingual education) and so my bro and I had to spend hours sitting in the car or on some office bench while she attended her meetings. We knew we weren’t to act up, bother or make a fuss and for the most part we complied. We didn’t even have video games to keep us entertained. We made up stupid stories and acted them out (like martian and human or acted out fake commercials) but all very quietly…until one of us got a case of the giggles and could not stop despite the bawling out we knew we’d get from our mom. I still get the giggles to this day as some of you might have noticed. I’m traumatized! 🙂

  7. Wifey and I went to the 1st Coachella 10 years ago – back when they were desperate to get bodies out to Indio, CA. Saw Gil Scott Heron (sitting on the grass – just him and a keyboard), LTJ Bukem, Rage Against the Machine, and Gus Gus all on the same day. They had free hot air balloon rides, gave away water when people refused to pay for it (but started dropping from heat stroke). Haven’t been back since – but we had a damn good time in ’99.

    Pops used to take me to all kinds of music festivals as a kid – Playboy Jazz, Monterey Jazz, etc. Hippie parents are a great thing…

  8. Just my opinion, but I think some of you are confused. There are hippie parents and there are hipster parents.

    Coachella is corporate, real corporate. There is no way a hippie parent would take their kid to an event that was sponsored by a beer company and Playstation. Hippie parents take you to activist type stuff. The anarchist fair. Out at midnight to feed homeless people, fighting for your rights. They make you wear weird clothes, they make you weird. You know you have a hippie parents when you start school and no one wants to be your friend, because you aren’t cool, you act weird and you talk weird, you have no idea of the latest bands or TV shows, because you don’t have a TV. You have read alot of books and you’re only 11 years old. The library is your best friend.

    Now hipster parents would take you to Coachella, because they are very concerned with image and being cool. They take you to concerts, they take you to bars, they take you to art events, they take you to these things because they want to still be cool themselves, they are very concerned with themselves and unfortunately you had to pop in and ruin all of the fun. They take you to this adult stuff, not because you would enjoy it but because they want to go, screw if it most five year olds don’t want to be awake in the desert at 10pm, Coachella is rocking (but Disneyland is stupid to this parent and they tell you that and remind you to tell all of your friends how stupid they are for liking Disneyland.) You know your parents are hipsters when everyone at school loves you. They copy how you dress, they want to come to your house and everyone else feels a bit inferior owing to the fact that you’re so freakin cool, how many twelve year olds know how to make a perfect Martini.

    Hippie parents and hipster parents are different.

    I’m not judging either of these parenting styles (lol….ok maybe a little) just saying they are two distinct entities, just because they are both nontraditional does not mean they are the same.


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