It’s about time. PiÃ±atas finally achieve a structural advancement that is worthy of note for all Party People and Pachangeros alike. Maybe this has been around for some time but I didn’t get the memo, I found out about it by accident and by paying attention to all the significant things that happen in the world around me. Err, maybe it wasn’t an “accident”, let’s just call it approved-but-focused-violence. Above we see some weak kids crying about the fact they are going to have to bash and destroy their piÃ±ata friend, cuz that’s how they learn to grow up to be strong individuals that can take on the world. Rites of passage, they just need to be done.
Oh yeah, click ahead for the break-through (har har!) innovation that will turn parties upside down!
Check out this video clip and see if you can tell what is different from the expected. Did you see? The kid bashed the piÃ±ata right at the heart yet the swinging candy-filled contraption survived to face another beating. The top cone breaks off yet the piÃ±ata keeps on hanging on for dear life. How can this be? Is this some sort of modern day witchcraft?
The Truth Is Revealed! Remember the bad old days when piÃ±atas were held up by a twisted clothes hanger? Most of the time that meant a well directed swing would snap the hanger out of its place and you’d have an intact piÃ±ata full of candy separated from it’s only means of support. Those circumstances usually meant that you’d either A.) let the kids have a go at an innocent, defenseless, motionless piÃ±ata or B.) one of the drunk party goers would try to improvise a way to get said piÃ±ata swinging again, mostly with abysmal results. In the end, you’d probably end up scooping the candy guts out of the cardboard corpse, distributing them amongst the lil’ vultures in a wholly unsatisfactory “fair” manner. Wrong!
Luckily, those terrible bad days are over, assuming you get a modern 21st century celebration quality party tool. You see, if you take a look at the corpse of the piÃ±ata above, you will see that they’ve looped a few strands of twine/string/nylon/plastic or whatever it is around the WHOLE BODY of the piÃ±ata, nullifying that single point of weakness that has been the curse of piÃ±ateros for aeons. Which means, the damn thing can swing for much longer periods, spreading those candy innards to and fro like it was meant to do. You know, giving the piÃ±ata a reason for being. No more piÃ±ata suicides on my watch!
Look at that enduring craftmanship!
Which leads to this final video clip, where the piÃ±ata is technically done but somehow it still holds it shape and has to be shaken to get the candy out. Yes, this new technology assures that the piÃ±ata will last long enough to make it a party, but is this new tech a step in the wrong direction? Doesn’t this have a wide and severe impact on the party culture? Is the indestructible piÃ±ata only a few years away? Should we be concerned? We should all take a moment to breathe deeply, clear our minds, and ponder the implications.
PS. Did I just stay up to almost 3am on a work night to consider the piÃ±ata life cycle? Hmm, maybe I did. Maybe I did.