I recently observed this vehicle ad in Santa Monica and I became flushed….
Ok, is it just me? or does it seem like people on the Westside have a way deeper preoccupation with their scatological functions?
Living in the Eastside, I never once came across any signs that this colonics cottage industry (I vaguely remember hearing the word “LAVATIVA” once in Spanish) existed to the degree that I see it here in the West of L.A. It’s like an accepted part of everyday life it seems….people here budget their colonics along with their cable and cell phone bills.
Has this stuff ever been medically proven to work the wonders it promises? Does anybody from the Barrio get into this? I need to know the answers….
by the way,….eeewww.
Al your on a roll here man! I used to go to a chiropractor in Eagle Rock for back aches and the Dr. was a wonderful old timer in his eighties named, believe it or not, Dr. Carne. One day as I was getting my back treatment he told me he was going to retire, I asked why and in a rather grumpy tone he said ” Most of my old customers are dying and nowadays a lot of my new customers include many Gay men, (he actually used one of the nasty descriptive terms for Gay men), and they all want me to give them “high colonic enemas”, and damn it, I don’t need the money bad enough to end up the high priest of Tailgunners!”
Also, the troll who shows up here often, with the very recognizable and badly disguised anti Mexican, anti Eastside comments, was reportedly given treatments a couple of years ago by one Dr. Hugo Winterhalder, for anti Mexican psychotic behavior treatment that included not only hours of isolation with a TV constantly playing songs by “Las Ardilla’s” (The Chipmonks), and Chapulin Colorado TV programs, but also a series of “Menudo enemas” that although didn’t fully cure the troll of Mexipsychosis left a lasting case of “Menudo Enema OCD Complejo ” that can still be witnessed throughout the Internet at various sites.
wild!
We all gotta clean the plumbing every so often right ?
Que Feo <—my anti-spam word..how fitting.
But seriously you don't need any of that if you eat healthy well balanced meals- which include fiber, fruits ,vegetables etc.
Once again that is why i don't eat red meat, but still have my desserts and carbs.
Stay off the fat, grease and fried stuff even if it tastes so good.
Last week i made the mistake of having for the first time because i had a craving- the Jalapeno Poppers from J in the B- big mistake i got an upset stomach.
They were fried and greasy and cheesy but no heat, no picaban 🙁
– moderation is the key!
My acupuncturist rented space from a colonics place, and those people are crazy. They were all really thin and sallow (I mean like neon yellow) and they had big smiles and glazed eyes. Does getting a colonic make you high? Anyway, they did not look healthy at all. Not to be gross, but there’s bacteria in your colon for a reason–it helps digest your food.
Oh, I get it, Al. Westsiders are ‘full of shit’. Ha ha. Ha. I’m so slow.
comic idea for anyone who can draw:
the colonic person is handicapped (note license plate) due to a horrible injury received in what was not exactly an accident. the vengeful colonicist opens a practice, knowing the evildoer who caused the injury lives in the area, hoping someday that person will come in. then, just when the evildoer thinks a colonic is coming…..
I worked at a (now defuct) health food co-op out in Venice back in the early ’90s. The majority of my customers were obsessed with “clensing” and “detoxifying” themselves. Wheatgrass, colon flushing teas, blood purifying herbs, we sold all that stuff. I’d trip off customers who were lining up for shots of wheatgrass in the morning that had just smoked a cigarette/joint in the parking lot while waiting for me to open the store. WTF…
You can sell anything to anyone with the right packaging.
WELL, you know when you see a man who looks thin from behind, then he turns and has a huge belly? Yep, impacted colon. A few colonic irrigations could save him from getting colon cancer. True, the bacteria in your colon is meant to break down food, organic food—but it is not meant to break down all the chemicals in Cheetos.
maybe you don’t see colonic joints in teh east side because food typicaly eaten on the east side does the job.
In all my years living on the westside, I’ve never noticed this obsession. Maybe I’m just clueless.
Just eat healthy- fruits vegetables and fiber and you will be perfectly fine.
I cut out red meat last year from my meals and get my protein from other stuff- beans,nuts etc.
See the thing is if EVERYDAY you feel like you had Thanksgiving dinner..that’s not a good thing.
My “natural” colonic is either apple juice or milk- since im lactose intolerant 🙁
Sure moderation and physical activity is key!
only you can take care of your colon
Colonics are a hoax. No amount of high-pressure water sprayed up your ass is going to undo a poor diet and lack of exercise.
Has anyone had one of those COFFEE enemas???
Very Simple, you speak from experience?
Linaza (ground flaxseed) works just as well! Drink a glass of linaza mixed with water or juice (to give it a better taste) at night. When you wake up, get ready because you’ll have to use the restroom a number of times before you can engage in other activities.
Those husks that swell up in your panza when you drink water give me torsones. More natural cleanses too are watermelon and the seeds, lots of strawberries (also full of little seeds) and papaya (eat the seeds, they are peppery). BUT, the mega good for you cleanse is tunas– they are chuck full of seeds and aloe—yum!
I’ve heard of the coffee enema, and know people that have done them—but didn’t check back to see if they are beneficial.
Pachuco 3000 just shared this story on facebook.
Very simple
October 23rd, 2009 | 3:34 pm
Colonics are a hoax. No amount of high-pressure water sprayed up your ass is going to undo a poor diet and lack of exercise.
…………….
That sucks. I hope you got your money back.
Dammit, Victoria beat me to it. I have to learn to read all the comments before I post. But anyhow, you can go to France and get a free colonic. I hear even their public restrooms have spray toilets. There must be a line going around the corner!
Okra is good, not so much as a laxative, but it helps the turds take on water and soften. The slime also lubricates everything. It’s kind of eerie.
I really like okra. Grew up eating it, and could eat it daily, but lately, the frozen okra has been too woody and tough, and you have to cook it til it’s soft, Southern style. It’s all imported from China and Mexico now, and doesn’t have the mellow flavor that I like. My style was to cook it a few minutes, then cool it down, and eat it without adding anything but a little salt.
Bananas also work. High in fiber and slime. Another thing to do is eat brown rice. It helps solidify the shit, but also has a lot of fiber to keep it moving along.
Chia seeds also work. It’s the fiber and slime. Soak them and make that lemonade drink. It’s good for you, and tastes good too.
(BTW – I have a big belly, but don’t think my ass is impacted. I shit twice a day or more, and rarely ever have regularity problems. I just eat a lot and sit around.)
Well, I’m ready to eat!
Oh dang, this is ONE topic I never thought I’d see on this blog, go LA Eastside and your badass scatological talk!
So let me get this straight, if I eat flax seed, wheatgrass, okra, strawberries, tunas, coffee and chiles, I’ll be clean as a whistle?
I’m a little afraid to ask but are people having that many problems with expelling waste?
This is good! Al has broached a subject that lies an equal distance from ALL our hearts.
Victoria
October 23rd 2009 | 3:38 pm
“Very Simple, you speak from experience?”
What do you think was in that burrito you ate last night?
Someone told me to eat a bunch of peanuts and wash it down with a warm 7-up!!! Never tried it!! Nothing better than some good ol’ frijoles de la holla to cure anything like that!!Or just get a bag of prunes, it’s alot cheaper!!!
OH, and the westsiders, I thought it was the shit between their ears!!!
I’ll kindly pass on that, Very simple.
No shit?!!
uhh, i dunno bout that, just the picture by itself looks pretty intimidating.