It’s about time. Piñatas finally achieve a structural advancement that is worthy of note for all Party People and Pachangeros alike. Maybe this has been around for some time but I didn’t get the memo, I found out about it by accident and by paying attention to all the significant things that happen in the world around me. Err, maybe it wasn’t an “accident”, let’s just call it approved-but-focused-violence. Above we see some weak kids crying about the fact they are going to have to bash and destroy their piñata friend, cuz that’s how they learn to grow up to be strong individuals that can take on the world. Rites of passage, they just need to be done.
Oh yeah, click ahead for the break-through (har har!) innovation that will turn parties upside down!
Check out this video clip and see if you can tell what is different from the expected. Did you see? The kid bashed the piñata right at the heart yet the swinging candy-filled contraption survived to face another beating. The top cone breaks off yet the piñata keeps on hanging on for dear life. How can this be? Is this some sort of modern day witchcraft?
The Truth Is Revealed! Remember the bad old days when piñatas were held up by a twisted clothes hanger? Most of the time that meant a well directed swing would snap the hanger out of its place and you’d have an intact piñata full of candy separated from it’s only means of support. Those circumstances usually meant that you’d either A.) let the kids have a go at an innocent, defenseless, motionless piñata or B.) one of the drunk party goers would try to improvise a way to get said piñata swinging again, mostly with abysmal results. In the end, you’d probably end up scooping the candy guts out of the cardboard corpse, distributing them amongst the lil’ vultures in a wholly unsatisfactory “fair” manner. Wrong!
Luckily, those terrible bad days are over, assuming you get a modern 21st century celebration quality party tool. You see, if you take a look at the corpse of the piñata above, you will see that they’ve looped a few strands of twine/string/nylon/plastic or whatever it is around the WHOLE BODY of the piñata, nullifying that single point of weakness that has been the curse of piñateros for aeons. Which means, the damn thing can swing for much longer periods, spreading those candy innards to and fro like it was meant to do. You know, giving the piñata a reason for being. No more piñata suicides on my watch!
Look at that enduring craftmanship!
Which leads to this final video clip, where the piñata is technically done but somehow it still holds it shape and has to be shaken to get the candy out. Yes, this new technology assures that the piñata will last long enough to make it a party, but is this new tech a step in the wrong direction? Doesn’t this have a wide and severe impact on the party culture? Is the indestructible piñata only a few years away? Should we be concerned? We should all take a moment to breathe deeply, clear our minds, and ponder the implications.
Ponder. Ponder.
PS. Did I just stay up to almost 3am on a work night to consider the piñata life cycle? Hmm, maybe I did. Maybe I did.
Due to the growing threat of new, more deadly PSMDs (Pinata Sticks of Mass Destruction) I am glad to see that our culture is advancing in development of our PDS (Pinata Defense Systems). We can only pray that the rumors of North Korea testing a new more powerful Pinata are unfounded.
I thought the biggest improvement in pinata technology was when they made the switch from clay pots to cardboard. Those things where a danger to everyone and they eyes. My parents use to make’em back in the day in Mexico. I can still remember how we would make soo many that the house would be full of pinche pinatas and you couldn’t even walk around anymore. I also remember how chunks of clay would fly like daggers when they broke off too. Course those clay pinatas where bad ass. I miss those days.
Is that Menoman?
Clay pinatas? Wow. I’m guessing it was parents having to clean up who came up with the idea of cardboard.
Yep. That was me and that was one strong piñata. Of course, that bat was made of plastic and hollow. Certain adults didn’t want me to use the metal stick for the occasion.
Ugh. All this talk brings up traumatic memories…
My mom and all the adults in my family—who while I was growing up constantly told me that we pochos were not as mentally or physically tough, hardworking, or virtuous as they who had grown up in Mexico (“…these hands have been working since I was four years old!”)—hated cardboard piñatas. They said they were fake piñatas, just like everything made in the United States. Perhaps just as Chicanos were fake Mexicans. Only clay-pot piñatas were real, they said, like handmade tortillas and lard in the beans and Mexican kids who manufactured their own kites and slingshots out of whatever they could lay their hands on.
So I’ve always had this weird relationship with piñatas, both identifying with them and resenting them at the same time.
I didn’t know you could be so emotionally scarred from pinatas lol
How about the new “nonviolent” pinatas that have the strings hanging down and the kids each take turn pulling a string, one of which is connected to a trap door that sends the candy spilling out. I would fill it full of snapping turtles and ninja stars if I had to be in charge of one of those! This must be how those Mexicanos felt talking about the cardboard ones. Children must learn that you must brave the blindly swinging bat if you want the candy. This is life.
I would first like to thank El Chavo for bringing such an insightful and hard hitting topic to the surface. I personally love how pinatas have been used to tear down cultural barriers. Why, just last week I saw a Toyota commercial depicting various facets of middleclass American life. And there, among the boquet of images, were a group of non-latino children beating a helpless pinata, only slowing to stare in awe of a passing Toyota. And this week, I beheld a Verizon Wireless commercial shamelessly brandishing a pinata, selflessly giving its lifeblood to those ravenous party goers. Friends, these are great times. Yesterday we shared Taco Bell and Ugly Betty with the world. Today pinatas. Will we tommorrow bequeath sharpie eyebrows and tire-soled chanclas to that culture-less American void…