Bail Me Out

Dear Federal Government,
I would like to join the troubled asset relief program. My trouble is I ain’t got no assets but I do have some debt I would like relief from as would the millions of low income people in this country and all the people who are losing their jobs. My debt is miniscule and won’t even make a dent in the 700 billion you will be splitting up among major corporate institutions. In fact I think to pay off my total debt would only constitute…my calculator won’t even hold that many zeros so I can’t figure out the micro percentage. I can use the money to re-organize, re-tool, or even hold on to it for awhile before dispersing it to friends. Being poor requires resourcefulness and I got plenty of it so even $10,000 would go a long way with me. Just in case you can’t fulfill my request I think I will be heading to my HR Department tomorrow to change my withholding status to exempt.
Broke in Los Angeles

4 thoughts on “Bail Me Out

  1. I want relief too. I will only have one party and not three or four like AIG and I would only have soft drugs there. I promise.

    I’m broke too

  2. I should add that I also have this loan coming due for 100,000 dollars. It was a little lease deal, could you help me with that too. I think me being homeless would actually harm the national economy, at least in internet land.

    Seriously I’m real broke too

  3. I guess wall street was hoping that WE–the taxpayers, would carry all these bad debts. Dow took a dive to 8282.66 (Down 411 points – 4.73%) after Hank Paulson announced that the Fed was not going to buy bad mortgages.

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