LA Mag: A Review

Oh look, that newspaper subscription I keep meaning to cancel has put out a new magazine. Hmm, maybe this time it’ll be a little more reflective of the larger Los Angeles and stop being so Westside Provincial? Haha. As the cover says: Dream On!

I had a fresh cup of coffee, a toasty bagel, and an open mind as to this “new” magazine when I read the first sentence from the editor: “A friend of mine once said that when you find an angel, you never want to let it go.” ??? Lady, your friends are crazy. Then: “I walked out of the terminal and felt the hot wind (it must have come straight from angels’ wings) sweeping across my face, making my hair fly, making me breathe so deeply and filling my heart.” Lady, yer crazy. BTW, those were probably the Santa Ana’s, and if air is getting into your heart you should see a doctor. Furthermore: “That you want the best-and no matter what your job or your life circumstances, you deserve to know about the best, through the best words and photographs.” Wait, you’re the Editor? Those certainly weren’t the best words. And so forth: “Take me to places I don’t normally go, spellbind me so that I laugh and cry and act to make a difference.” Trust me, I’m already laughing and crying. Y pa’ cabarla de chingar: “That you want to know Hollywood better-Hollywood is based on dreams, and you want to see how those dreams are created, the stories behind the dreams, the business behind the dreams. That you love L.A. That you don’t want to let that angel go, either.” Wow, what a wallop of drivel. Are you gonna tell us about your dreams to become a famous ballerina that’s a veterinarian by day?

This mag is not looking so good.

Come on now, you could have at least aimed for some diversity in your initial publication, no? Three bios mention “fashion”, three others mention “House & Garden”, and two dudes are into sports. I think we know where this is headed.

I don’t get it. Now if you threw in some lines about WD-40 in storage and chi-chi’s a poppin’ then maybe it’d have some cultural relevance.

50 pairs of shoes yet not a single sighting of huaraches, a Payless special, or cantunflas. Just a lot of roach stompers.

Yet another list of items to consume. Look people, if you’re reading free magazines to develop your sense of “style” then I can honestly say your life is fucked. Just throw in the towel now, cuz you ain’t got nothing going on.

All grown up yet you still need tips on how to behave. Spare the rod and spoil the child, err, adult.

That whole white after labor day is ridiculous: it’s never okay to wear white.

Oh jeez, another spread on fashion? Am I the only one that finds these completely boring?

Of course, those into fashion also tend to be into celebrities. Yawn. Maybe I should have read this at night when I was ready to fall asleep.

“Great ingredients are everywhere in L.A.- if you know where to look.” Naw, really? Great work there Sherlock.

A story about an equestrian program in Compton. And it only took 122 pages for the mag to get outside of that limited LA.

A few pages over and we are back to irrelevancy: how to cook for your pinche perro. “I also learned there are things Izzy-or any dog for that matter-should never eat: grapes and raisins…cooked animal bones…acidic fruits…spicy seasonings…regular chocolate…anything with caffeine; animal fat…macadamias and walnuts…and mushrooms, onions, and corn.” JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA!!! This is a magazine for crazy people.

Some sort of Hollywood story about Mork. Nope, don’t care.

This mag is not going on my must-read list. I suggest they change the name from LA to “Our Town” or “Our Lil’ Corner.” Yeah, maybe I’m out of touch with the interests of the average Angeleno but if those interests include dreams, angels, “Hollywood”, crap to buy, and fashion shoots, I’ll stick to what I know.

Ay Ta.

8 thoughts on “LA Mag: A Review

  1. “Dream on” if we think it will ever have any relevance to the Eastside!
    I agree with you, from my perspective the whole magazine seems as if were written by culty kooks! Martians, dog cuisine, crystals, detached body parts, angels…Weirdos telling you how to behave and dress. With this rag, the cultural anthropologists of the future will be able to pinpoint the exact moment Western culture ceased to make sense.

  2. Hey El Chavo
    thanks for the informative and funny commentary. You sadly confirmed what i was dreading and hoping was not true about the LA, Los Angeles Times magazine.
    I am not a subscriber to the LAT, so i get up every Sunday and haul my ass to 7-eleven on Olympic Blvd and buy it there.
    I was upset that the magazine was only made available to the paying subscribers and not everyone.
    This was the “Fall Fashion” issue, that is why maybe there was so much info or pics slanted towards that by the way.
    I personally wanted to check out the ads and see what companies,retailers and brands were advertising.
    From my sources, I heard that the ads were premium priced-$$$(a double page spread was going for up to $1 million dollars) and with a claim/pitch of 1,101,000 readers for this first issue and potentially up to 3,400,000 readers overall. Since most magazines get passed around to friends and family too sometimes.
    Triste que this “old media” is not learning its lesson from the “new media”.
    Mira donde fui a encontrar la informacion sobre la revista? at LA-eastside 🙂

    muchas gracias and good job – keep it up!

  3. That is hilarious, El Chavo. I completely forgot to mention the insane cooking-for-your-dog story in my own rant. I appreciate fashion but there was nothing relevant to me there.

  4. i hated the feel of the paper and the typeset was bland.
    advertising is completely westside/glam driven. the name is utterly boring.

    The uni article was pretty interesting though. But who just goes out and eats uni??

  5. I bought a Sunday Times just to see LA Mag (is that who puts it out) anyways I just saw a Parade.

    Cooking for you dog!!!! I’ve got to see what someone would cook for their dog. Is this dog a vegan dog or a cannibal dog or just a meat eating dog.


  6. It was boring and stupid. I am so sick and tired of this westside-centric crap that passes for Los Angeles writing,

  7. I live in Santa Monica and I don’t like this new magazine either. I sure as hell don’t know anyone who buys these $78,000 dresses or diamond-encrusted Bluetooth headsets. Maybe they’re the whiny assholes who “write” for this thing? The sad thing, though, is that the L.A. Times has never managed to have a good Sunday magazine in the 20 or so years I’ve been reading it.

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