I was riding the Blueline train the other day and this young black man was trying to get my attention. He wasn’t that cute, he was too young, and I have a boyfriend.
I mean I have a boyfriend; even if he were the right age and was cute I definitely would not have talked to him. I don’t think.
Anyways me ignoring him pissed him off, so he proceeded to call me a “f*cking b*tch.â€
It was weird, because I haven’t been called a bitch by a black guy (that wasn’t homeless) in years. The last time a black man called me a bitch was when I brought a white guy friend on accident (sort of) to a coffee shop that was very heavy on Nation of Islam types. Well this guy didn’t so much call me a bitch, but pulled out a gun and threatened to kill the guy I was with (he said he didn’t believe in hurting black women,) that actually happened. Awesome story, but that’s another post.
But it has been years since a black man has come at me with that kind of disrespect and I have some pretty strong opinions on lots of things. I’m very ADHD about sharing my opinions, but you know sadly I can’t say that I haven’t been called a bitch.
Online I often get called bitch by youngish white guys.
I say something in regards to racism in America and the first place certain (not all) white identified guys go to is bitch or another slur in regards to what I am biologically.
This is one of the common risks of being a woman in the blogosphere, even in the liberal blogosphere.
A traditional racial slur is a bad thing, referring to a woman as a bitch that’s freedom of speech, and if you’re a woman of color, mainstream feminist won’t say anything about you being called a bitch. Hell they won’t say anything about you being murdered, threatened with being murdered, raped or objectified.
“I thought we were all in this together?†Me.
“I think the R Kelley trial is a cultural thing,†Feminist.
This is why the third wave had to be started.
Why can’t crimes against women, because they are a woman be considered a hate crime?
While Hillary being called a bitch was a highly charged thing on many women oriented blogs, Gloria Molina being called a bitch and being threatened to be killed was not so big of a deal.
Regardless of what you think of the LA River Mural incident, Gloria being Latina and female added a way more vicious slant to the matter. You think anyone would get a way with implying they were going to kill Barbara Boxer? Feminists would be up in arms, but a Latina gets called a bitch and threatened with death and it’s completely ok, because it’s art.
I guess the feeling is women of color should be used to it. We’re not white women and don’t deserve the same kind of respect and we surely don’t deserve to be defended.
Keep in mind I’m on political blogs or social type blogs, not Perez Hilton or MYSPACE or Facebook, but the kind of blogs that if you call someone a “nigger†or a “wetback†your comment would get deleted and you would get banned.
But for some reason on the online world of the internet people feel completely comfortable about the whole manner if you’re a woman and you’re not one of the “nice†ones.
If you’re a woman online you have to be very polite, because if you don’t you will get called a bitch. People will send you physically threatening emails, and the sad thing about all of this is that rarely on the respectable sites, sites where racial slurs would not be allowed, will administrators do anything about it.
On one website I was called an ignorant slut, owing to the fact that I didn’t like the portrayal of an historical ethnic enclave and I said so.
And it’s not just about the comments.
It’s what various sites link to. If a respectable site links to sites that were white supremist, people would be outraged, but major sites can link to and support the writers of websites, blogs, and social networking sites that degrade women.
Sites where terms such as bitch, whore, and slut are thrown around without even a batting of the eye. Sites where a women’s place is to be sexy and cute, like a cute dog.
Hey animals get more respect than human women.
Am I saying that we should ban the word bitch, no, but I am saying if racial slurs are so outrageous, why don’t progressive men view gender slurs in the same light? And also I think true progressive men should be a lot more vocal about sexism, especially in how it impacts women of color.
If you don’t like a person who is a woman, why can’t you talk about her politics? What’s up with the bitch statements, no one would think calling Clarence Thomas a “nigger” would be ok just because he’s conservative, well unless you’re Jeff Danzinger.
Browne Molyneux
I feel your argument about the word bitch and how it is tolerated, but why was the race of the young man on the blue line germane to the story?
Good question. I brought it up so I could point out that while there is much talk of black men disrespecting black women in my experience that has not happened. I noticed he was black because I am black and had not been talked to in that manner before by a black man. I often have debates with my feminists friend (in regards to my individual experiences with black men) and I always have to say personally no experience, though in a national institutional way I can see sexist actions by black men and organizations such as the NAACP and Al Sharpton.