VIVA LA REVOLUCION!
–Official Message from Department of Homeboy Security–North Eastern Division, to the Eastside Front
This Latest Communiqué from the Headshopquarters of General Chavo!
→All Troops to Remain on Brown Alert!
- Warm up the Armored Taco Trucks!
- Alert the Fundamentalist Eastside Radical group “The Tacoban” (AL Pastor is Great!)
- Load the Elote Launchers!
- Confirm enemy spy sighting rumors- (Huell Howser)
- Beware of infiltration by over-rated Westside Street art! (Shepard Fairy)
- Lindsay Lohan sightings
- Confirm rumors that someone has asked if the Tortilla Chips are “Organic” at El Mercado on First Street.
- Aprehend any persons working on their Laptops while sitting in the patio at “El Tepeyac“
In case of enemy invasion=retreat to the secret caves located in the Montebello & Rose Hills! General Chavo is to be Frozen Cryogenetically as a Giant Paleta de Nués to be thawed out at a future date!
Please Report immediately to command post if you observe any of the following suspicious activities taking place in the Eastside!:
- Increased number of Dog Walkers on the Eastside and purebred doggy poop landmines
- Sightings of baby strollers costing more than $9.99
- 2 year olds wearing designer Dr. Marten’s shoes
- Ask for Identification of anyone wearing a Tommy Bahama shirt
- The opening of one-word named boutiques
- Be suspicious of anything with the faux distressed look (highly redundant to E.L.A.)
- If you are captured, eat this message cooked in a spicy Mole Poblano Sauce!—End Message—