I thought that I was going crazy a couple of weeks or so ago, I was reading the Economist and the Financial Times and according to them this country is in a recession. And I thought that was crazy, because you would think that the press in this country would be talking about that before the people in other countries, but then I realized that the codewords have changed.

While the papers all of the world have stated that the United States is in a recession and the facts state that housing prices have dropped 15% and gas prices are like million dollars a gallon. In the US this isn’t a recession. This is simply a reevaluation of opportunities. I know that sounds like a slowdown, but it’s not exactly, because it’s better. It’s more like a “look around” for the best deal possible.

And that seven percent unemployment that everyone has plastered across their papers, those people aren’t jobless they are on “staycations”. Isn’t that fabulous? Staying home and enjoying the company of your family pets, your micro dog, which some negative people would call a roach is not only relaxing it’s eco.

Remember owning a car is bad. Eating lots of food makes your kids fat. You don’t want your kid to be fat do you? If your kids go to bed hungry sometimes, it’s more healthful, that’s what the advertisements around the public transportations state.

(I’ve noticed around the MTA a campaign against obesity in little bus riding children.)

You’re helping the country by not spending money, staying at home and being happy about it. Don’t complain, no one likes a negative nelly you don’t want to be “those people”. Just thank god every day that you have the privilege to be economically anorexic in this country instead of some place else, a place that has socialized medicine.

Thank god for capitalism and pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps.

Here are some new terms in regards to the housing market.

SRO=micro lofts

Studio=loft

Sidewalk=freedom

It’s not just the economy, employment and housing market that has new and improved codewords, but even the world of sociology has them.

Currently in the works there are new socio-cultural codewords that are more flexible and more inclusive for use. You can even use your credit card on the beta versions.

For instance I noticed while reading the Downtown News that urban now means yuppie person instead of poor black person that will shoot you.

Remember the vintage codewords of the 90s:

Urban=African-American
Illegal=Mexican
Loft=big gigantic warehouse where artists changed their clothes and shot up heroin.

The 90s codewords were so very uncreative. Racial slurs were out of date owing to political correctness, so we had to come up with them quickly. I have to admit they were pretty half ass, but having a proper term to denigrate a person different from you is a pretty important thing, so you do what you can. Could you imagine how boring parties would be if there wasn’t one group that everyone agreed they hated?

Here are some of the beta terms with their socio-cultural explanation:

Urban: yuppie who overpaid for a downtown condo—now keep in mind a yuppie can be of any ethnic group it’s the mind set that matters. I’ve been meeting quite a few black and Latino yuppies in downtown LA, it’s pretty fuckin scary, though I think I scare them too.
SRO: still SRO unless the building is actively recruiting white people.
Microloft: SRO that is actively recruiting white people.
Those people: Chicanos
Homeless: black people

Remember the codeword is half full, just don’t tell them it’s half full of piss.

Browne